Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true, because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. That would be sad. If two people were married and…they just had a great thing, and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times.

— Louis C.K.

A few years ago, when I was in the midst of my very very difficult and horrible divorce, I did a lot of reading about divorce, loss and grief. I learned that divorce is like a death and — in some ways worse — because the pain of betrayal and hurt is so intense. When once you were partners and lovers — now you feel like enemies. And it hurts. A lot. Read More →

“There is one thing in this world you must never forget to do.  Human beings come into this world to do particular work.  That work is their purpose, and each is specific to the person. If you forget everything else and not this, there’s nothing to worry about.  If you remember everything else and forget your true work, then you will have done nothing with your life.”

Rumi

I don’t really have much to say except that life is good today and I am so grateful.  I read this quote this morning:

“There is one thing in this world you must never forget to do.  Human beings come into this world to do particular work.  That work is their purpose, and each is specific to the person.  If you forget everything else and not this, there’s nothing to worry about.  If you remember everything else and forget your true work, then you will have done nothing with your life.” 

Rumi

I love that quote. For me writing comedy and hearing an audience laugh is my life’s work.  It’s not so easy to get an audience, but still I write and hope that someday I will be doing my life’s work and audiences will be there laughing.  I also hope that with that spoon full of sugar, there is more to it than simple laughter, but really also some worthwhile things to say.  Suddenly I sound very Jewish, like a Rabbi or something.  What is that?  Anyway, I am Jewish so I guess it’s not such a big surprise.  Just the Rabbi part. 

It’s almost the end of 2010, a year of so much transition and change and it definitely feels like it was so much better than the previous year, in so many ways.  

So hopefully, we will all remember why we are here and even if we can’t all do what we feel is our true work, we will know it and look for opportunities to do it. 

I have another book that I need to recommend.  My friend Polly gave it to me on my birthday a year ago and then recently, another friend mentioned it to me.  The book is “Broken Open” by Elizabeth Lesser, who is one of the founders of The Omega Institute in upstate New York.  I have never been there, but many friends have and they offer amazing workshops with great people, including my favorite, Pema Chodron.

The first quote that starts the book is by Anais Nin, whose work I read in my twenties.  I don’t remember much about her journals, except that I was obsessed with reading them.  Here is the quote, “And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” 

Another great quote, from Rumi:  “When you do something from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy…”  And one more from Rumi:  “Learn the alchemy true human beings know.  The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.” 

And the paragraph Lesser read when she was very young that she says changed her life:

“Going beyond fear begins when we examine our fear: our anxiety, nervousness, concern, and restlessness.  If we look into our fear, if we look beneath the veneer, the first thing we find is sadness, beneath the nervousness.  Nervousness is cranking up, vibrating all the time.  When we slow down, when we relax with our fear, we find sadness, which is calm and gentle.  Sadness hits you in your heart, and your body produces a tear.  Before you cry, there is a feeling in your chest, and then, after that, you produce tears in your eyes.  You are about to produce a rain or a waterfall in your eyes and you feel sad and lonely and perhaps romantic at the same time.  That is the first tip of fearlessness, and the first sign of real warriorship.  You might think that, when you experience fearlessness, you will hear the opening to Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony or see a great explosion in the sky, but it doesn’t happen that way.  Discovering fearlessness comes from working with the softness of the human heart.”   

“Shambhala: The Sacret Path of the Warrior,” by Chogram Trungpa, a Tibetan Buddhist.

Another quote, this one from Wavy Gravy, “We’re all Bozos on the bus, so we might as well enjoy the ride.”  I love that quote.  When I was young, I often listened to “The Secret of Life” by James Taylor.  “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.  There ain’t nothing to it, any fool can do it…”

And finally, a terrific quote by Joseph Cambell:  “People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life.  I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking.  I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive…so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”

This past week has been challenging for me, but in a good way.  There have been tears and I’ve encountered a great deal of fear.  But I’ve also sat with it and let it move through me.  I’ve also received so much help and support and I am deeply grateful for these friends who show up for me.  Meditation has also helped.  And I guess the best part of it all, is as difficult as it feels sometimes, I know I’m alive. 

After doing yoga yesterday (and definitely feeling the muscle aches today), and continuing this painful journey of divorce, not knowing when or where I will find a job, feeling a bit rootless, missing my daughter, and also being filled with gratitude for this journey I’ve been on all year, I thought of a Rumi poem that I have always loved.  Here it is:

The human being is a guest house
Every morning there is a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness
Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor

Welcome and entertain them all
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house
and empty it from its furniture
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.