That was the message I received last night when I dragged myself out of my loft, after struggling with grief the entire day, and going to a cocktail party. I took a shower, put on make-up, a nice top and a pair of jeans (I even brought high heels with me) and I showed up.
I arrived in the middle of the host’s speech (this was a party for a group of writers) and right behind me was Nora Ephron. All I can say is, within ten minutes I was having so much fun – and it seemed that everyone there was engaged in lively conversation. I think if you take a room and fill it with mostly TV and film writers, there’s going to be lots of talking and laughter and people enjoying each other’s company. The party totally lifted me out of my malaise and reminded me how happy I am when I’m around people. Some of my favorite screenwriters were there, including Richard Lagravanese, who wrote and directed “Living Out Loud” one of the best films on divorce. I wanted to tell him how much I loved it, since I’ve watched it at least three times recently, but he left early and I didn’t have the chance. Maybe next time.
This morning I read this daily meditation in Melody Beattie’s book, “The Language of Letting Go” and I wanted to share it. Somehow these readings always seem to be exactly what I require:
“Allowing Ourselves to be Needy
We can accept ourselves as people who have needs – the need for comfort, love, understanding, friendship, healthy touch. We need positive reinforcement, someone to listen to us, someone to give to us. We are not weak for needing these things. These needs make us human and healthy. Getting our needs met – believing we deserve to have them met – makes us happy.
There are times, too, when in addition to our regular needs, we become particularly needy. At these times, we need more than we have to give out. That is okay too.
We can accept and incorporate our needs, and our needy side, into the whole of us. We can take responsibility for our needs. That doesn’t make us weak or deficient. It doesn’t mean we are not properly recovering, nor does it mean we’re being dependent in an unhealthy way. It makes our needs and our needy side, manageable. Our needs stop controlling us, and we gain control.
And, our needs begin to get met.
Today I will accept my needs and my needy side. I believe I deserve to get my needs met, and I will allow that to happen.”