That was the message I received last night when I dragged myself out of my loft, after struggling with grief the entire day, and going to a cocktail party. I took a shower, put on make-up, a nice top and a pair of jeans (I even brought high heels with me) and I showed up.

I arrived in the middle of the host’s speech (this was a party for a group of writers) and right behind me was Nora Ephron. All I can say is, within ten minutes I was having so much fun – and it seemed that everyone there was engaged in lively conversation. I think if you take a room and fill it with mostly TV and film writers, there’s going to be lots of talking and laughter and people enjoying each other’s company. The party totally lifted me out of my malaise and reminded me how happy I am when I’m around people. Some of my favorite screenwriters were there, including Richard Lagravanese, who wrote and directed “Living Out Loud” one of the best films on divorce. I wanted to tell him how much I loved it, since I’ve watched it at least three times recently, but he left early and I didn’t have the chance. Maybe next time.

This morning I read this daily meditation in Melody Beattie’s book, “The Language of Letting Go” and I wanted to share it. Somehow these readings always seem to be exactly what I require:

“Allowing Ourselves to be Needy

We can accept ourselves as people who have needs – the need for comfort, love, understanding, friendship, healthy touch. We need positive reinforcement, someone to listen to us, someone to give to us. We are not weak for needing these things. These needs make us human and healthy. Getting our needs met – believing we deserve to have them met – makes us happy.

There are times, too, when in addition to our regular needs, we become particularly needy. At these times, we need more than we have to give out. That is okay too.

We can accept and incorporate our needs, and our needy side, into the whole of us. We can take responsibility for our needs. That doesn’t make us weak or deficient. It doesn’t mean we are not properly recovering, nor does it mean we’re being dependent in an unhealthy way. It makes our needs and our needy side, manageable. Our needs stop controlling us, and we gain control.

And, our needs begin to get met.

Today I will accept my needs and my needy side. I believe I deserve to get my needs met, and I will allow that to happen.”


There’s something really special about the U.S. Open in New York City. We love an underdog. Melanie Oudin is so totally likable that you can’t help but be thrilled to watch her win. I heard that she was incredible the other night. I just happened to turn on the match with Petrova just now and it was fantastic! She lost the first set, 6 to 1, and then came back to win the next two sets. New Yorkers go crazy when they find someone with that kind of determination and she’s only seventeen. I can’t wait to see her next match. I was actually invited to go to the Open tomorrow night, but my friend ruptured her Achilles, so we won’t get there this year. Next up is Federer and Robredo, a Spaniard. I hope Robredo has a chance.

Today happens to be the 25th anniversary of the first date my husband and I had together. We lived in L.A. at the time, went to see a film called “Sugar Cane Alley,” had dinner at a restaurant called Le Cukoo, and ended up sitting poolside at the Bel Air Hotel. It was a very romantic evening. Today probably isn’t the actual date, but it was Labor Day in 1984 that we met.

I read this entry this morning in “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie.

“Powerless Over Others

Stop making excuses for other people.
Stop making excuses for ourselves.
While it is our goal to develop compassion and achieve forgiveness, acceptance, and love, it is also our goal to accept reality and hold people accountable for their behavior. We can also hold ourselves accountable for our own behavior and, at the same time, have compassion and understanding for ourselves.

When we claim powerlessness, we are not claiming irresponsibility. We have no power to control others, what they do, what they did, or what they might do. We’re stating that we are willing to end an ineffective life based on willpower and control. And we’re beginning a spiritual, mental, and emotional journey in which we take responsibility for ourselves.

We are not victims. We are not helpless. Accepting powerlessness when that is appropriate enables us to begin owning our true power to take care of ourselves.

Today, I will avoid making excuses for my own or someone else’s behavior. I will let consequences and responsibility fall where they belong.”

There is a book called “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie. I resisted reading it for a long time, I’m not sure why, but I recently decided to buy it. It’s a book of daily meditations and sometimes when I read it, on a particular day, it feels very pertinent.

“Being Is Enough

We are not always clear about what we are experiencing, or why.

In the midst of grief, transition, transformation, learning, healing, or discipline – it’s difficult to have perspective.

That’s because we have not learned the lesson yet. We are in the midst of it. The gift of clarity has not yet arrived.

Our need to control can manifest itself as a need to know exactly what’s going on. We cannot always know. Sometimes, we need to let ourselves be and trust that clarity will come later, in retrospect.

If we are confused, that is what we are supposed to be. The confusion is temporary. We shall see. The lesson, the purpose, shall reveal itself – in time, in its own time.

It will all make perfect sense – later.

Today, I will stop straining to know what I don’t know, to see what I can’t see, to understand what I don’t yet understand. I will trust that being is sufficient, and let go of my need to figure things out.”

Post Navigation