The past couple of weeks have been rather challenging for Zoe and me. She started a new job and I have a busy month with difficult jobs.
So, I am reminded during these times when I feel overwhelmed, to always remember to be grateful too.
Here is what I am grateful for:
New York City
My ex husband Steve is feeling better and managing another round of chemo more easily this time
The nicest people to work with
What are you grateful for?
November 2, 2011. Last night I went to see my old therapist, Mike Eigen, and to tell him what has been going on in my life It’s kind of like a check-up, a tune-up – a quick “this is where I am and what’s happening” and it feels so good to see him.
Life feels so much better than it did two years ago. I have to get a biopsy on my breast soon which I am not looking forward to. Work remains an exercise in problem solving. I haven’t met the love of my life. I’m still lonely some days. Lucy, my beloved beagle, is sixteen and a half, and though she runs down our hallway like a greyhound, she is constantly getting urinary tract infections.
I worry about our country, the next election, the world, the mess it’s all in. I feel uplifted by Occupy Wall Street and the change in conversation we seem to be having.
I am grateful. I like the people I work with. I like that I have time each morning to write. I am hopeful that my play will have a life, but if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. I’m grateful that I got to see my daughter last month in beautiful San Francisco and spend some time with her and her friends. I’m grateful that I am going to Miami next weekend with my Mama Gena friends. I walked through Central Park late yesterday afternoon and the leaves haven’t barely begun to change.
Just when I feel like I’ve turned a corner, another one presents itself. I like the metaphor of riding the waves. Sometimes they are perfect and challenging, thrilling to ride. And sometimes I wipe out. Right now, it feels like the waves are fine. It’s a beautiful autumn day and I am just so grateful for so many good things in my life and for the opportunity to be of service.
Last night, at 1:30 am, Lucy, my 16 year-old beagle had to go out for a walk. This rarely happens, but it means something is wrong and I will probably have to take Lucy back to the vet.
The other day, on my way to work, something told me to go to the vet to buy Lucy some of her special dog food. I didn’t really feel like going that morning, but my feet seemed to take me there. I walked into the animal hospital and there was one person sitting in the waiting area, a very dear friend of mine. She was there to put her cat, Dash, down. They were putting in the catheter. I haven’t seen my friend in almost a year, other than on Facebook, even though we live across the street from each other. Our kids were friends since they were 3 years-old. We have been through many life events together, loss of parents, divorces, all kinds of changes. We were together at the gym when the first plane flew into the World Trade Center. Our families marched together with candles after 9.11.
I stayed until Dash was euthanized and we walked back to SoHo together, talking about loss and life. It was beshert, as they say in Hebrew, or Yiddish, or whatever language it is. It was meant to be.
We dance with what is in life – make the best of sometimes really difficult situations. For me, literally dancing, putting on music and letting myself dance, has been a lifesaver. A life changer. It changes our outlook on life when we move our bodies. My life changed dramatically when I started dancing again.
Some days, I don’t feel like dancing. Most days, in fact. But running on the treadmill with music accomplishes the same thing for me. My body and my mind shift gears. Yoga does this for me too, I think I’ll put on some music and dance and then do a little yoga. I’m tired and worried about Lucy, but I think it will help if I can let myself dance with what is…my sixteen year-old dog is not feeling well and that makes me sad. But it’s just life. Dash was 18 years-old. She had a good, long life. She was loved.