Resilience: Turning Setbacks into Comebacks

 “Tell me a fact and I’ll learn. Tell me a truth and I’ll believe.
But tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever.” ~ Indian proverb

 Job loss, husband left, mother died, daughter moves away, two dogs, no home.

It was as if everything fell away at once, along with my identity.

I had never truly known overwhelming loss. But I was lucky—I wasn’t alone with my traumas, I had a community. It was called Friends In Deed, an incredible organization originally formed to provide support to HIV positive gay men. My tribe became a group of women and men who were either dealing with life threatening illnesses, grieving losses, or were caregivers. After 18 months of crying, talking about it, and leaning into the grief, I began to breathe again.

I learned to say “yes” to everything that scared me. What did I have to lose? I began to reawaken my true self.  This renewal from the inside out was getting noticed. One day my friend Megan quipped, “Tragedy becomes you.”

I recovered from my divorce. I leaned into my grief.  I learned it was important. Crying and laughter are how we heal. Good friends, support groups, and even people like Louis C.K. helped me through.

 “Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. That would be sad. If two people were married and … they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times.” ~ Louis C.K.

I learned about post traumatic growth, which is a positive psychological change in response to difficult circumstances in life. “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” is often very true.

In my case, I began writing and speaking about my experiences and finding a need for people to share their vulnerability and their stories.

This is my mission.  To share our stories.  

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