From this week’s New Yorker: “I’ve come to think that flourishing consists of putting yourself in situations in which you lose self-consciousness and become fused with other people, experiences or tasks. It happens sometimes when you are lost in a hard challenge, or when an artist or a craftsman becomes one with the brush or the tool. It happens sometimes when you’re playing sports, or listening to music or lost in a story, or to some people when they feel enveloped by God’s love. And it happens most when we connect with other people. I’ve come to think that happiness isn’t really produced by conscious accomplishments. Happiness is a measure of how thickly the unconscious parts of our minds are intertwined with other people and with activities. Happiness is determined by how much information and affection flows through us covertly every day and year.” “Social Animal” by David Brooks
It seems like we are coming soon to the end of the divorce journey and hopefully moving on to the next phase of my single life. I have essentially been single now for almost two years, but not legally. It’s time. It’s close. There has been much happiness over this period and plenty of anxiety and sadness. I’m grateful for it all, I guess. It’s been bloody and it’s been empowering. I’m hoping this week is the last time I ever have to go to divorce court. I hope I never have to go with a friend, the way my friends have gone with me, but I would certainly show up for anyone who needed me. What a blessing it’s been to have Cathy and Barbara with me. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone though, it’s been so unnecessarily painful.
What a miracle it’s been though to have a home, friends, support and love. Even with the loss of the home and family I had, my daughter remains deeply connected to me and my friends remain incredibly supportive and loving. I just hope that I can report that this is over soon and this chapter of my life will come to a conclusion. I’m ready for a whole new book!