I’m nearing the one year anniversary of the decision to separate, that big moment that came in our marriage counseling session.  Is it better?  Yes.  It is still difficult?  Sometimes.  Am I through the worst of it?  Hopefully, but maybe not.  I’m still mourning my mother and that also takes time. 

Yesterday I sat with a woman whose husband left her just a few months ago and she found out that he’d been involved with another woman for several years.  A few days ago I heard about a book called “Perfection” – about a woman who discovers, after her beloved husband’s death, that he had been having affairs with nearly every woman in their small town.  

I guess I’m lucky that I’m not dealing with that kind of betrayal and that is often the reason many marriages end, people fall in love with someone else, or discover that their spouse has been cheating.  

I’m not sure it really matters in the end what the causes are; the results are the same, sadness, loss, a sense of failure, mourning and fear.  All of those feelings are less intense for me now, but they are still there and they come and go.  The woman I sat with yesterday was in so much pain, I wished there was something I could do or say that would help her, but time really is the healer. One year from now I will be in a completely different place emotionally – I am certain of that. 

And the saying really is “one day at a time” – and that’s about all any of us need to deal with. 

4 Thoughts on “A year at a time

  1. You are absolutely right my dear, one day at a time is all you have to process. The rest will come. I just posted about breaking-up as well. We must be on the same universal wave-length, that’s two posts in a row that spoke to me!

  2. Two posts in a row have connected with me now plus I went back to read some of your earlier posts. I think we are floating along the same spiritual wave length. Imagine that, a Jewish woman from New York and a Southern Baptist from Oklahoma both finally trusting our instincts and understand Buddhist philosophy.

    I would like to introduce you to my readers in a post but wanted your permission to do so. Plus, I’m adding you to my list of favorites on my page. I want to share your observations with my circle of influence.

    You are right to take one day at a time, the rest will come.

  3. you’ve come so far with so many singular, purposeful steps. I’m so lucky to call you my friend. I love you.

  4. Thanks, Annie. Sometimes I really just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head, but recently I’ve met so many other women going through this (and men) – it feels good to be helpful in whatever way I can!
    And thank you for all the love and support!

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