I am filled with so much gratitude this morning, for all the love and support I received yesterday. My friend Jodi said, “don’t be alone.” So, Barbara came over and spent the entire day with me. We talked and worked on a proposal I’m doing (with lots of help) and we sat in the park with the dogs, had lunch and talked with Zoe. Jodi also sent out an email to a group of friends about my mother’s death and I got phone calls all day from everyone expressing love and support.
I posted the news on Facebook, since I have so many old friends who did know my mother and I got many kind words there too. People are coming to the funeral – when my dad died we had hardly anyone there. I know that the numbers don’t matter, it’s who is there and how they felt about the person who’s died, but my friends are coming to support me and I am so grateful.
I have found, in my semi-old age, that pretty much nothing is as important to me as feeling part of a community of friends. No amount of money, no job, no success, all of it is great and I would love abundance and recognition and a beautiful home and travel – and I am so deeply thankful for my life and the connections I feel with friends I’ve known for forty years and friends I’ve know for six months.
Loss is always sad, but as my friend Bella says, challenges come in three’s and I hope that is true. I could use a little rest for awhile. I did just think about next week and what I have to do and for a moment I said to myself, “Maybe on Monday I’ll go see my mother…” And then I remembered that I no longer have a mother to see…except in photos and in my mind and in my heart. And on the stage, when she inhabits me.